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Wonder woman

Wonder Woman Had a Secret

 

Do you ever need help? Really?

How often do you find it’s just so hard to ask for it, that you don’t even try? You assume the others will neither care enough about your problems, nor understand what you are going through?

One other reason why we avoid asking for help is that we are so afraid we might look weak. Needy. Vulnerable.

And then the helper will expect us to be grateful and return the favor, at a time and in terms that will most likely be inconvenient. He or she may become bossy and demanding and…oooh, no thanks!

I used to think the same and dream to become Wonder Woman, or a mighty octopus who can juggle all tasks and get it all done by herself. At optimum speed, right on time, while maintaining good health, good mood and a positive vision for life.

It didn’t work out that way. Every day became a struggle to find my motivation and strength to keep on going.

Granted, I learned that I’m much stronger than I used to think.

At the same time, I understood that it is better to ask for and accept help.

From God, from family and friends, colleagues and peers, strangers even, if necessary. I’m not advocating depending on others for everything, on the contrary.  We want to aim for continuous improvement of our skills and capacity, so keep learning and making yourself outstandingly smart, strong and happy. Become the Wonder Woman in your own world. It is your duty and responsibility to make the best of yourself and this wonderful adventure called life.

What I am actually preaching here is that you gradually start asking for help when you need it. Love yourself enough to let others love and support you too. Reach out to God. He said, “Ask and you shall receive!” Turn to people and literally ask for advice and support with whatever it is you’re facing. Ask with the confidence that you will receive it.

A great old friend got in touch with me recently; she is dangerously ill and barely anybody knows about her condition. Her parents and two friends are aware of her illness, but they do not realize what it means: that she may not be alive in a couple of years. She is very fragile physically and emotionally, and much too discouraged to cry for help.

I was lucky enough that she reached out to me. Together we found the courage and clarity needed to devise a plan: the concrete steps to take and precise people to turn to, in order to address her illness, her emotions and her reluctance to ask for help.

People often care, but they have no idea what problems we are facing. They don’t know our struggles; neither can they guess what we need. If they could, they would love to step in and do whatever necessary to support us through our rough times.

So while they have the good will, they may lack the skill. This is where we need to help them help us: we must learn to open up with a few details of our problems, describe our exact needs and request that they help. Literally guide them into what we need.

Please keep in mind that, while we should always be grateful for help, you do not need to reciprocate. Your helper should accept your thanks, but not demand that you return the favor.

Asking and accepting send the message to the Universe that you love yourself enough and that you trust life to provide for you at any given time. It is true. Ask and you shall receive. Be clear and persistent. It works. I guarantee it!

Now we would love to hear from you in the comments below: what are the reasons YOU hesitate to ask for help when you need it? 

Stand alone

 

Posted by Alina on Mar.22 2014

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PoZitivistas photos by Lia Nichifor